The Funeral Magazine – November 2017

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Insurance – Your rainy day cover?

With todays’ busy environment we often forget to cover our basics and that can lead to a multitude of problems and complications.

Choosing the correct cover and providers can often be a frustration, having to spend hours calling around for insurance quotes, call centre “hold” lines and answering enough questions to cover your entire pedigree!

To fully understand the value of insurance, we should first understand why insurance is a necessary accessory to our modern lives?

In short, insurance is all about risk, what you are covered for, short or long-term insurance, value and exclusions and how the risk is managed during any incident or activity. Popular forms of insurance include:

  • Household insurance
  • Automotive / vehicle insurance
  • Life insurance
  • Disability and critical illness insurance
  • Health insurance
  • Travel insurance

So what steps should you follow to get sufficient cover in an easy way?

1. Research your options:
a. Check up on insurance providers, read online reviews and general customer experiences.

b. Ask your friends and family member who they insure with?

c. Compare policies, cover and exclusions.

2. Consult a broker:
a. Brokers offer a variety of services in both short and long-term insurance and most are aligned and accredited by top services providers governed by the Financial Services Board (FSP) and the relevant statutory bodies e.g. Short / Long-Term Ombudsman etc.

b. Understand the lingo – when words or clauses don’t make sense, ask your broker or provider to clearly explain and elaborate on items of the insurance you don’t understand.

3. Identify your risk:
a. Whether using a broker or just ringing up an insurance provider and taking out cover, ensure that you complete the survey or risk questionnaire as detailed as possible to make sure you get the best cover.

b. Evaluate your lifestyle, company or needs and adjust your idea of risk and what value you attribute to your possessions or assets.

Whatever the options, the risk or the provider you end deciding on, remember with sufficient insurance, your peace of mind and quality of life can continue uncompromised and uninterrupted in any event.

EUM is a proud short-term insurance provider and registered Financial Services Provider, contact us today for more information or to assess your cover needs.



StratCol was formed in October 2003, with our Head Office in Pretoria and branches in Cape Town and Durban.

StratCol (Ltd), Reg no: 1983/001494/06, is processing all non- insurance collections and payments and StratCol Premium Collections (Pty) Ltd, Reg no: 2015/071843/07, with FSP license no 46105, the insurance premium collections and payments.

We are regulated by the Payment Association of South Africa (PASA), which body is recognised by the South African Reserve Bank (SARB), in terms of the National Payment System Act of 1998. Our sponsoring banks are ABSA and Standard Bank.

StratCol is the market leader in the collection and payment facilitator industry and our products and services are based on the needs of our clients.

Our highly competitive fee structure makes our debit order system very popular in die Funeral Industry. The fact that Split Payments can be done upon collecting an insurance premium and the Insurer’s Service Providers be paid directly, is a big advantage to the service the industry is rendering.

The cash payment facility through Pay@ at Retailer stores, is most likely the utmost compatible edge in the market. Your clients can now make direct payments at a Pay@ platform. There are over
25 000+ payment networks nationwide. It is a convenient transaction channel for both banked and unbanked customers. It bridges the gap between sophisticated financial services and a population that is still largely unbanked or partially banked.

Payment methods include cash, as well as credit and debit cards. StratCol has developed an Android mobile application, which field operators can now use to sign-up policies, agreements, ensuring the FICA process is done, creating debit orders or Pay@ transactions and search history of previous transactions.

All captured information done on mobile app device (Smart Phone / Tablet), reflects in real time onto StratCol’s web interface. The Field Operator Supervisor / Manager, can easily monitor his activities on a daily basis.

StratCol’s professional Client Service Support and training, is at no cost to the StratCol User. It is evident why StratCol is highly recommended in the Funeral industry!



Nobody wants to be ill but for most of us it is something that we will be faced with sometime during our lifespan.

Illness has a way of interrupting our lives and throw us in the deep end of the dam, leaving us struggling and afraid of dying or being dependant on others. The worst of it all, is to feel so
isolated and lonely when those around us do not understand what you are experiencing.

Let me explain what happens in our worlds when we become ill. This diagram shows our priorities when we are healthy. The size of the blocks indicates how much time we tend to spend on each category when we are healthy. You can also add more block or draw your own diagram to see what your personal world looks like.

And then disaster strikes and we become ill. Our world changes dramatically. Where work was our priority during times of health, it is now our health that becomes the priority. We are also challenged by existential questions such as “why did it happen to me?” This again leads to a bigger spirituality “box”. But, your family’s diagram does not change the same as yours and now we have two different worldviews – the family’s and that of the ill person.

And because there are changes, there are many questions and misunderstandings. But there are also love and understanding.

And most of all, resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back to life when something negative happens in your life.

And then, sadly, sometimes your health deteriorates to such an extent that you are facing death. This is what then tends to become the priorities in your life:

This diagram compared to that of your family will differ tremendously, but creates opportunities for you to start sharing concerns and challenges, and most importantly, to share the good times, your achievements and what you would llike your family to remember about you. Dr Ira Byock says that there are four imprtant things to say at the end of life:

  • Please forgive me (I’m sorry)
  • I forgive you
  • It’s OK to die
  • Goodbye

My advise is not to run away when all of this happens, but tackle it head on and live life to the end, with the help of family, friends, and professionals who care.

Dr Nelia Drenth
Social worker (Centre for loss, grief and bereavement)

Tips : How to manage your grief

You may experience headaches and stomach pains, you will burst into tears at the most inappropriate moments, you may want to isolate yourself and will hate yourself for being so forgetful. You may turn to food for comfort or have no appetite.

  • Be kind to yourself;
  • Acknowledge your pain. Allow yourself to grieve.
  • Speak to someone you trust, or keep a diary.
  • Draw, listen to music, drink tea in the garden, go for a walk.
  • After a while, reach out to others who are in need.

Suddenly everything changed – by David Pretorius

2015 was going to be the best year for us. My partner and I worked four years to bring our plans to action to reality. Finally our planned stepping down from the company he worked for and coming over to our company full time. 1 September 2015 we celebrated our 5 anniversary, and his first day in our office taking a full part in our everyday workings. What a beautiful day we had.

3 September 2015 my brother passed away in a traumatic suicide that shocked our family and brought our worlds to a grating halt.

Working in the Funeral industry it was expected of me to bring to call our connections and organize the Funeral for my brother. After two weeks of trying to get our families to agree on anything about my brother’s funeral, he was laid to rest and the world expected us to continue. I expected us to continue as normal …

In this emotional sparked world I was expected to continue and I did. Slowly but surely some of the wheels came lose on the way and after multiple emotional breakdowns and more patience from my partner than could be asked for I came to the realization, my brother might have been finished with us, but I was not done with him.

I decided that day, I would make it a mission of mine to grow the awareness around suicide, the impact it has on loved ones, families, business colleagues and the society and economy at large.

Only after speaking to a great social worker that I truly believed changed my life for the better, did I realize, I wanted to save a life, I wanted to wake people out of their comfort zones, and say: ‘LISTEN to your loved ones, LISTEN to your children, and hear what they are saying.’ You never know when your last conversation with them will be.

I never thought my message would get such positive feedback. Never did we think support for my awareness campaign would come in at such a rate.

I have never been this humbled by the greatness of the HUMAN being, in trying to preserve themind-set of the living. I realized that above even creating awareness around suicide, I should create awareness around love. Because at no point, not matter how dark your world becomes, no matter how lonely you feel at this point in time, someone out there, LOVES YOU!

ALWAYS REMEMBER, you are loved. For more on my journey, and my struggles regarding the day of the suicide, read more online at in my Suicide awareness articles, or see later on in magazine my first online article published in our digital magazine.


Teenage Suicide

According to WHO, a suicide occurs every 40 seconds and an attempt is made every 3 seconds.

In South African, hanging is the most frequently employed method of suicide, followed by shooting, gasing and burning.

Mental Illness as a Cause of Teen Suicide…. Most teens who attempt suicide do so because of depression, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. These disorders amplify the pain a teen may feel. Every test, every heart break feels like the end of the world…..

How do you really feel?

  • I feel guilty; I have no confidence ?
  • I often feel restless or tired ?
  • I like very dangerous activities ?
  • I use drugs and/or alcohol on a regular basis ?

What to do if you suspect someone close to you may be contemplating suicide.

The most effective way to prevent suicide is to learn to recognise the signs of someone at risk, take these signs seriously and know how to respond to them.

Previous suicide attempts: Between 20 and 50 percent of people who kill themselves have previously attempted suicide. Those who make serious suicide attempts are at much greater risk of actually taking their lives.

Be concerned about depressed persons if at least five of the following symptoms have been present nearly every day for at least two weeks:

  • depressed mood
  • change in sleeping patterns
  • change in appetite or weight
  • fatigue or loss of energy
  • thoughts of death or suicide
  • Extreme anxiety, agitation
  • Excessive drug and / or alcohol use or abuse
  • History of physical or emotional illness

Who do I call if I need help?

Mon Ami Trauma Troopers
073 653 4497 /
Elize – 082 578 4847

Child Line
08 000 55 555 / 018 297-4411

The BEST interest of the Patient – A morning with Dr. Nelia Drenth

Not one fussy with titles or formalities a meeting with Nelia is never planned over enough hours because the positive flow with which Dr. Nelia navigates life is captivating and makes you want to stay in her company for just a bit longer. launched a Suicide awareness campaign in September 2016 and Dr. Nelia became part of our journey. After starting with this Suicide awareness campaign inspired by the passing of my brother, I always remained under the impression that I would be okay.

I did not believe at any point in given time, that my brothers traumatic death would after more than a year, influence my behaviour in the way it did.

After sitting down with Dr. Nelia, I could truly understand why people would say, that a social worker could have a positive influence your life. That truly speaking to someone about your concerns, could point out subconscious worries, and that a truly gifted social worker could help you discover the answers to resolving these issues, without forcing the process.

I recall a conversation with Dr. Nelia, where she was worried about a patient; about the emotions coming from their sessions and leaving the patient without discussing those emotions, or not keeping in mind the effect those emotions, unexplained or unresolved would have on the patients immediate point in living life

Dying well: End of Life Psychosocial care – Dr. Nelia Drenth

We arrived at the Stabilis Treatment Centre in Pretoria the morning of the 21ste of January, to meet with a very excited Dr. Nelia Drenth. Her workshop focus was clear and the overall workshop flowed into an enjoyable morning. Not one to take on a lecturing tone of voice, Dr. Nelia made sure that everyone partook in his or her own way, without placing anybody on the spot, as what happens with most workshops. I was shocked at how quickly the time passed and before I knew it, it was time to go home.

Highlights of this workshop:

1. Before I die: This is a list that you need to write, to understand what goals or achievements you have before dying.

2. Understanding the Needs of the Patient: Seeing in a basic design, how the focus for a healthy person and a sick person differs.

3. Physical versus Emotional Suffering: Taking a look at how; resistance to dying causes the patient suffering.

4. HUG ARM: The basic use of an item like the hug arm can bring your family from far close.

For more information on these highlight follow on social media and watch out for the next workshop with Dr. Nelia Drenth.

Why we choose StratCol Debit Orders

Funeral Homes have been requesting better collections systems and after months of research and working through all the available options we made a decision.

Here at TheFuneral  we choose StratCol Debit Orders for collections.

You ask why? StratCol debit orders saved 1 Funeral Home in Cape Town that switched over to them, 8 hours a month on time, with their automated systems.

Continue reading “Why we choose StratCol Debit Orders”

The Buddhist Funeral Service Rituals

Note: The practices and beliefs of the Buddhist culture vary between traditions or “schools” and even within schools, depending on the country—for example, Zen in Taiwan and Zen in Japan are different. The following information is generalized to fit many or most Buddhist traditions.

Funeral customs differ within the various Buddhist sects and from one country to the next. Some funerals are very ritualistic and traditional, while others are quite simple, solemn, and dignified. Rather than spend lavishly on expensive but perhaps meaningless traditions and rituals, the family and friends may donate to a worthy cause and transfer the merit to the deceased. Continue reading “The Buddhist Funeral Service Rituals”

… hoe ek die rou proses ervaar het.

In samewerking met Crime Scene Cleanup se Karin Roux, het Elbie Snyders vir ons die volgende artikel gestuur.

4 Desember 2016:  So vra Karin my om iets te skryf oor hoe ek die rou proses ervaar het na my dogter oorlede is 23 Oktober 2014.

Die tyd toe Suretha in die hospitaal was het ek baie gebid en gese dat ek in opgestopte kamer sal eindig as my kind iets moet oor kom. Daar was nie tyd vir dit nie, skielik was daar ‘n 8 jarige seuntjie sonder ‘n mamma vir wie ek verantwoordelikheid moes aanvaar. Die skok om op haar te kry leweloos en koud, is nie iets wat ’n ouer ooit nodig moet he om deur te gaan nie. Ek het met mense gepraat, en familie in kennis gestel alles asof dit niks met my te doen het nie. Seker maar die liggaam se manier om mens se emosies te beskerm . Die hartseer van my kleinseun en sy blydskap die volgende oggend toe hy kom vertel dat sy mamma vir hom kom groet het en gese het sy is baie lief vir hom. Dis dinge wat mens se hart breek. Veel van die week voor die rou diens kan ek nie onthou nie, behalwe die fisiese pyn waar my hart uitgeruk is. Soms het ek gevoel asof ek besig is om griep te kry, wat blykbaar ook normal is.
Ek kon haar liggaam eers 3 maande later gaan uitken by lykshuis omdat elkeen gedink het die ander person het my laat weet ek moet dit kom doen. Ek het alleen gegaan omdat ek niemand anders daar deur wou sit nie. Ek onthou wat ek gesien het, maar gelukkig het die Here nie toegelaat dat my gedagtes daardie prentjie bere om weer na te kyk nie. Al wat ek daaroor kan se is dankie Vader dat ek weet dit was net ‘n liggaam en nie meer my kind nie.
Vir die eerste jaar het ons beweeg verby al die “eerstes”, Eerste verjaardag sonder haar, eerste kersfees sonder haar, ens. ens. In hierdie tyd was die pyn waar my hart moes wees steeds daar. Ek onthou geselsies met Riana en my kleinseun oor Suretha, waar Riana se dit was nie net haar sussie nie, dit was ook haar beste vriendin, vir my was sy my Blom, my vriendin, my tweeling 21 jaar jonger, en Boeta se “vir my was sy my ALLES’. Ek het betrokke geraak by ander ouers wat dieselfde verlies gelei het en deur troos en verstaan aan hulle te bied gewerk daaraan om voort te gaan met die lewe deur ‘n groep op FB te stig “TROOS NA DIE VERLIES VAN ‘N GELIEFDE, KIND”.

Daardie week voor dit een jaar was, was aaklig. Ek het elke dag herleef en het gewens ek kon net slaap tot daardie dag verby is. Begin van jaar 2 het ons beweeg na al die “laas keer” Laas keer wat on shier was, was Suretha saam met ons. Laas keer wat ons dit gedoen het was Suretha saam met ons. En so gaan dit aan en aan. Boeta wat se ek kan nie meer my mamma se stem onthou nie.
Ons is nie lank terug by 2 jaar verby, gedagtes draai nou meestal om Suretha het hiervan gehou, Suretha sou so maak ens. Steeds mis ek my Blom, en glimlag stil wanneer ek dink aan haar se goed, ens.
In my verbeelding sien ek hierdie gat waar ‘n deel uit geruk is waaroor weefsel groei om dit toe te maak, maar dit sal nooit weer so dig wees soos voor die deel uitgeruk is nie. Dit sal altyd sag en kwesbaar bly. Dan besef ek dit is waarvan Tannie Annetjie gepraat het toe sy gese het die seer gaan nooit weg, mens leer net daarmee saam leef.

Sterkte aan elke ouer wat hierdie bitter bekker drink, sluit gerus by ons groep aan.

Daar maak ons die harte oop en ondersteun mekaar.

Elbie Snyders


Baie dankie aan Elbie Snyders en die Karin Roux van die Crime Scene Clean up span vir hierdie artikel, dit vat baie om so veel van mens se eie emosies neer te pen en te deel.

Ons is saam met jou in jou hartseer,

Die Span